The Saviour of the condamned, the broken hearted, the sickness striken, the demon possessed and....

But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus,"Teacher, this woman was caight in the act of adultery, In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such woman. Now what do you say?" They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If anyone of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her,"Woman, where are they? Has no one condamed you?"

"No one, sir," she said.

"Then neither do I condamn you," Jesus declared. "Go and leave your life of sin."
JOHN 8:1-11

SMS joke

I received an sms joke from a pal and I laughed my head off. It was about our prime minister and former prime minister. Since I am still in Malaysia, I better pratice self-censorship. I don't want to get into trouble. So, I modified the sms. Oh yeah, we have 27 million people in Malaysia. So, here you go...

Bush and Blair were in a helicopter. Bush said:"If I throw 2 USD100 notes, 2 person down there will be happy. Blair said:"If I throw 200 USD1 notes, 200 people down there will be happy. The pilot heard it and said:"If I throw both of you down, the whole world will be very happy.

AI Global Letter Writting Marathon 9-10 Dec 2006

Amnesty International-24-hour Global Letter Writing Marathon Write Letters, Save Lives. 9-10th December 2006

In conjunction with International Human Rights Day 10 Dec 2006

More information at http://marathon.aimalaysia.org

In conjunction with International Human Rights Day 2006, Amnesty International is organizing our yearly 24-hour global letter writing marathon on the 9-10th of December 2006. We would like to invite you to take part in this marathon

During this 24 hours AI members, supporters and friends get together to write letters to help victims of human rights abuses worldwide. A steady stream of letters does have an effect and we know of many cases where the abuses have ended because of the letters.

This letter writing marathon was initiated by Amnesty International Poland in 2002 and since then every year around International Human Rights Day thousands of people from around the world, including those in Asia, Europe, Africa and the Americas take part in this marathon. Last year, 37 countries were involved in what proved to be the largest ever Letter-Writing Marathon. Around 80, 000 letters were written worldwide with 1,800 letters from Malaysia

HOW DOES THE LETTER WRITING MARATHON WORK

The marathon starts at 12pm on the 9th of December and we keep writing for 24 hours. It ends at 12pm on 10th December. You can write letters anytime during this period. You can come join us, at the venue, to write letters or get together with some of your friends, anywhere, and write letters or write from home

Letters can be written on cases found on our website. If you want we can also send the cases to you via e-mail.

For those writing for the first time we will also send you a letter writing guide. We also suggest you use an aerogramme for each letter as they are the cheapest and most convenient method of mailing (RM0.50 cents)

After you finish writing and mailing you need to provide feedback to the AI office on how many letters were written and on what cases. Then we will provide this information to AI Poland who will give us the global tally

Do you want us to send you the cases:

Please send this form to marathon@aimalaysia.org or call 03-79552680 to sign up

To become a member of AI please contact :
------------------------------------------------
Amnesty International Malaysia
E6, 3rd Floor, Bangunan Khas,
Jalan 8/1E, 46050 Petaling Jaya, Selangor, Malaysia
Tel : 03-79552680
Fax: 03-79552682
Email : aimalaysia@aimalaysia.org
Website : http://www.aimalaysia.org

Happy Birthday to Mimi

Today is my best friend's birthday. I can't be with you now, so, here is a cyber cake for you. Thanks for coming. You know how much it really meant to me. Hope to see you again soon. May your birthday filled with joy, peace, love and laughter. Happy Birthday. Oh yeah, Kavern, it's been a month since your birthday, I hope it's not too late to wish you Happy Belated Birthday. Hope you don't mind sharing this very vintage cyber cake with Mimi. Love,Kriss

World AIDS Day

Today is 1 Dec, the World AIDS Day. So,let's talk about sex. AIDS has changed the way sex and life used to be cos AIDS doesn't discriminate. So, just to remind you sexkittens out there to take precaution when you taste that forbidden fruit, yes I know forbidden fruit tastes much much sweeter but it comes with a big price-eternal damnnation?!!Hmm...only God knows, none of us need to be so judgemental and prejudice. Like I said before, AIDS doesn't discriminate whether you are into marital sex or premarital sex or one-nite-stand sex or orgy. No, you won't get AIDS by watching pornos but you probably at risk in becoming a porno addict or a sex addict. You are at risk as long as your sex partner had been had sex with multipal partners or still have multipal sex pertners behind your back. So, take precaution or just practice celibacy. Good luck and enjoy your sex life.

The Zwinky infant

 

 

This is fun!Try this. My new imej.Hahaha

Halloween in Bangkok

Halloween in Bangkok was gruesome and way too happening. I went to Kaosan Road 2nites in a row for its street party which took place on the eve of Halloween and on Holloween nite. The street was jam-packed with goth ghosts,beautiful Satans and devils who wore Prada?! Madness. I was in front of the stage watching the concert most of the time. Thai alternative rock boy bands such as Good September and hip hop chicken chop, I mean just hip hop boy bands, do you call them boy band as well?!

I am not really into hip hop but this hip hop trio really made the crowd ran as wild as wild boars. We all started to dance like a real hip hopper. The actual Halloween night was madness of the madness. There was almost a stampade. Yeah, someone was stepping on my shoes and pushing me around cos there was a fight in the crowd in front of the stage when famous hip hop ganster Joey Boy was performing. Yeah, when the high school kids start to drink, they just make a fool of themselves and get other people involved in their foolishness too. Well, when I was a semi alcoholic during the good old days, I never got involved in a gang fight. Well, almost but I am too old for this now.

The finales were really happenning though when D.J Tonic (on Halloween eve)was playing to full house of people mainly mat saleh travellers dancing in the street. Halloween night was D.J Angel Mushroom playing the night away,well til 12 midnite when the armies and police started to do their round there. All the wild spirits, the punks, the rockers, the goths, the hip hoppers, the dreadlock travellers refused to go home, lapaking in the street til the break of dawn as usual just like every weekends. So, I breast-stroked my way back to where I came from.

Art market

An evening spent at Silpakorn University Festival on 29th Oct, 2006. The festival took place from 27-29 Oct. Silpakorn University is a prestigious art university in Bangkok. Santhichaiprakhan park was jam packed with uber artsy crowd, roaming around. I loved the art market. There were ultra cool postcards designed by the students, bags, nick-nacks made by the students. There was also a percussion performance by students from the faculty of music and a fashion show to end the night. It was so much fun.

Back to Bangkok for good.

Hi everyone, how are you doing? I would like to thank those people who dropped me a line or two in the comment section. At least, I know that my time spent on blogging was not wasted. I arrived in Bangkok on 12 Oct, since then I have been busy exploring the underbelly of Bangkok. Bangkok is filled with mysteries. The creative space doesn't end at exhibitions and art galleries, it goes way beyond that. The street art space is expanding beyond my expectation. Trash bins, street walls, back alleys and abandoned comstruction sites are adorned with graffities.

Well, I know some people see this as vandalism but I see it as turning a big boring city dotted with artless skyscrapers into a platform for freedom of expression. No, the alleys wouldn't be that interesting without the splash of colours on its walls. Imagine the apartment block you live in is adorned with colourful graffities, isn't that great? Well, probably graffiti is not your cup of tea. What makes the world go round is that we are different. It is nothing wrong to be different and to embrace individualism. Let's celebrate our differences.

Military coup in Bangkok

It was 19 Sept 2006 on Tuesday day night. I was staying at the guest room of the church. It was my 5th night at the church before I left Bangkok the following day. Of course, I wasn’t alone, sister Yang, Pastor Tze and Cheng (Pastor woo’s wife) were there too. I was supposed to leave on Tuesday afternoon but I couldn’t cos all the train tickets were sold out that day. So, I had to stay back for another day. It was almost 12 midnight when Yang received a call from her mother, telling her that the military coup was taking place. The city of Bangkok was taken over by the military. T.V stations were controlled by the military. We only knew that the security forces and tanks had moved in to the city taking over government buildings. I started to worry, not so much about my own safety but about my family in Malaysia cos I knew they would worry about my safety.

Of course, I started to wonder whether there were demonstrators out there protesting or what the security forces would do to the people. Would the security forces massacre the protestors like what happened in the 70s during student uprising at Thammasat University in Bangkok where students were brutally killed, some of them were even hang on the trees by the security forces. My heart started pounding madly. Later, I went in to the room to pray. Yang and I stayed awake til wee hours waiting, waiting for the latest news spread by the word of mouth via phone.

The following morning, we woke up early. After breakfast, I accompanied Yang to the morning market. Later, I tried to use the internet but couldn’t be connected. This meant no access to the internet and no access to information. This is the most frustrating thing could happen to a journalist, to be deprived of the freedom of information. I had bought the train ticket on Tuesday afternoon. So, I had to leave in the afternoon at 3.35 pm. Yet, I wasn’t sure whether the train would stick to the schedule. So, Yang suggested calling up the train station. Thank goodness, the trains would run as usual.

So, in the afternoon, I was ready to leave. Of course, I was worried about what was going on but yet I would like to see what was going on. On the bus to the train station, suddenly I realized that I didn’t have my passport with me. I left my passport at the reception when I went to meet an editor of a newspaper on Tuesday morning. Gosh, the worst thing had happened. How could this happen. I had never been so careless when it comes to handling my passport but it still a mystery that I had totally forgot that I left it there. The receptionist didn’t even return it to me when I gave back the visitor’s pass and the entrance access card. Yeah, they really embrace maximum security.

On the bus, at that very moment, I was into coma for seconds. My mind really went blank. Then, I regained my conscious, telling myself to stay calm. So, again, I did the only thing I know best, I prayed for guidance. Previous day, the taxi driver told me about the subway train. Before I left that afternoon, Yang told me about the subway train too, saying that I can take the bus to Klong Teoy, where the newspaper office is and then take the subway train to Hualumpong train station. Then, suddenly I had this impression. So, I blurted out: ‘The subway train, to take the subway train.’There I was without my passport , walking to the entrance to the subway station guarded by armies with machine guns. Yeah, I managed to made it back to the train station on time to catch my train. Phew.

The following day, I arrived in Hat Yai safely. I was at the Hat Yai train station waiting for the next train from Hat Yai back to my home town Alor Setar. I had to wait for 3 hours there. Well, of course, again I was worried about my safety cos there was just a bombing in Hat yai killing a few people and wounded many. While I was waiting , I was observing people and checking for anyone suspicious. See, I have fear sometimes but I will never let myself to be confined by fear. A few armies walked past me with a cery chubby dog,sniffing around for bomb?!! or terrorists. Maybe the terrorists have some sort of special smell, evil smell?!! Yeah, I made it back to Alor Setar in one piece.

Frankly speaking, I myself do not support military coup or any form of undemocratic political reform. Having said that, let's see what the new Thai government has to offer. I have always taken pride in Thailand for its freedom of the press, freedom of expression and most importantly, the freedom of peaceful assembly which are the basic human rights that all of us are entitled to. These are the things that I do not get to enjoy as a journalist and as a person in my own country. I hope Thai people will continue to stay true to what they have always believed in.
Sure, I will go back to Thailand again. After all, this is not the time for me to forsake Thailand.

Freedom Film Festival

You know, the problem with us Malaysians is that we are so into Hollywood movies which, often have bad storylines, unrealistic and sometimes are as plain as plain Jane. Okay, there are some good Hollywood movies such as Million Dolor Baby, Fight Club, what else, can’t remember. Okay, some movies are quite entertaining! Think...Superman, Spiderman, what other man?!! Well, can’t blame us Malaysians cos there are not many options when it comes to movies.

Good locally made indie films are screened at film festivals around the world except in Malaysia cos these films are down right truthful, sincere, realistic and thought provoking that these films are seen as threatening and intimidating by the authorities. (Who else?!!) One such film is The Big Durian which deals with the issue of the Internal Security Act or better known as the ISA.

Despite all these, there are always people out there who are so passionate in what they believe that they work tirelessly to organize private screenings of quality indie films or films which have been denied screenings at cinemas.

Tomorrow is the beginning of yet another long-awaited film Festival. The Freedom Film Festival will kick start in Penang on Friday until Sunday(6 Oct-8 Oct) from 10am -10pm. This year for the first time, FFF will feature a human rights photo exhibition entitled `Wrong & Rights?’ featuring 60 images by seasoned photojournalist & social activists, Tan Jo Hann. FFF is organized by Pusat Komunikasi Masyarakat(KOMAS)or the Community Communications Centre


For enquiries and invitation, please contact:
Wee Ching 012-2755438
Chon Kai 019-5669518
or
visit www.freedomfilmfest.komas.org

Venue: The Actors Studio Greenhall
(Address: Ground Floor, Zhong Zheng School Memorial Centre, 32, Lebuh
Light,
10200 Penang)


Hope all of you will come and show your support.

Human rights violations

Issues concerning human rights violations have never been taken seriously by the masses, that's the reason why state violence such as extra judicial killings, police brutality keep on happening in our country and other countries cos none of us stands up to say to the authorities that this is wrong. Don't ever underestimate our voices. Give our voices to those whose voices have been silenced. Together we can have our voices heard loud and clear that we don't want this. Human right violations can never be compromised cos if it can happen to other people,it can happen to you and me too.

Please sign the online petition to stop the extra-judicial killings of peasant leaders and activists in the
Philippines:
http://www.foodsov.org/html/takeaction04.htm

Fucking pesticides

Pesticide has become a major threat to our environment and the lives of people whose lives very much rely on natural sources such as the river. I guess you must have read news about the aborigine children who died in places like Cameron Highlands (where I used to live) where the river has been permeated by pesticide. This is a major issue that many people have ignored cos it seems that only the lives of marginalized people are affected. Wait a minutes, how sure are you that the water that we drink everyday are actually 'clean'.

The threats of environmental issue as such have always been underestimated. Believe me, none of us can afford the consequences. Below is a report released by Pesticide Action Network and The Asia Pacific about how pesticides kill people in India. Please spend your precious time reading it and then contemplating about what you can do as individual to make a difference.

Industry urged to pull dangerous pesticides from Indian market

As Indian regulators, media and the public debate about a report on
excessive levels of pesticide residues in Coke and Pepsi amongst other
soft drinks, attention is not being paid to the real problem that is
killing scores of Indians each year - that of deadly pesticides being used
in agriculture on a variety of crops. Poverty stricken Indians are
paying a heavy price for the use of pesticides in farming. Therefore the
India-based Centre for Sustainable Agriculture, Pesticide Action Network
(PAN) Asia and the Pacific, and the German Coalition against Bayer
Dangers urge pesticide producers to withdraw all highly toxic pesticides
from the Indian market.


Kavitha Kuruganti from the Centre for Sustainable Agriculture (CSA):
"Many of these extremely dangerous pesticides are products of
multinational companies like Bayer, DuPont and Syngenta which have stopped
producing and marketing such pesticides in the developed world long ago.
However, they maintain double standards on people in India. Here, they
produce and market these pesticides aggressively." The CSA has documented
dozens of cases of poisonings, many of them fatal. "For instance Bayerดs
pesticide Hinosan (active ingredient: Edifenfos) is involved in such
poisonings we documented", continues Kuruganti.


"PAN AP in collaboration with partners in India and other countries in
Asia, have documented how Class I pesticides, as well as those
erroneously considered 'less harmful' such as endosulfan and paraquat (Class
II) continue to poison millions of workers and farmers across Asia!",
asserts PAN AP's Executive Director, Sarojeni V. Rengam. "It is an
unmitigated tragedy that Class I pesticides, as well as paraquat and
endosulfan-which are extremely hazardous under conditions of use in the
South-are still so widely used. We call on the world's largest producers of
endosulfan, which is Bayer; and paraquat, namely Syngenta, to stop
production of these deadly pesticides immediately!"


Bayer CropScience is the market leader for pesticides in India. In many
parts of the world the company sells pesticides in WHO Class Ia
(extremely hazardous) and I b (highly hazardous) like Thiodicarb, Disulfoton,
Parathion, Fenamiphos, Azinphos-methyl, Methamidophos and Oxydemeton
Methyl. Philipp Mimkes from the Coalition against Bayer Dangers which has
been monitoring the corporation for more than 25 years: "In 1996 Bayer
promised to replace all WHO Class I pesticides with products of less
toxicity. The company evidently failed to keep its promise. Bayer
products containing these extremely dangerous ingredients are still on the
market. As a result thousands of agricultural workers across the world are
poisoned year after year."


In a statement issued by Bayer in Germany, the company acknowledged
that it sells Class I product Hostathion (ingredient: Triazophos) in
addition to Thiodan (Endosulfan) in India. However Bayerดs Indian website
lists several more Class I substances like Larvin (Thiodicarb),
Metasystox (Oxidemeton Methyl), Tamaron (Methamidophos) and Folidol (Parathion
Methyl).


The Centre for Sustainable Agriculture, PAN Asia and the Pacific and
the Coalition against Bayer Dangers state that a safe use of pesticides
is not possible in India specifically, and the South in general, because
of poverty, illiteracy and other social conditions as well as tropical
climatic conditions which do not permit the wearing of protective gear,
or institute other protective measures. The groups criticise the
industry's marketing strategies which give pesticides an image of being
"safe". They also recall the FAO code of conduct, to which India is a
signatory and which has also been endorsed by the pesticides industry, which
recommends that Class I and Class II pesticides should not be used in
developing countries.


Having initiated a large programme of Non Pesticidal Management of
crops successfully with farmers in over 180 thousand acres in the state of
Andhra Pradesh, Centre for Sustainable Agriculture questions the need
for pesticides in agriculture. Therefore the Indian government is urged
to ban aggressive marketing of pesticides, to express the
acknowledgement that these products are essentially poisons and to ensure that the
industry is made liable for their products, including compensation,
medical care and economic rehabilitation for all victims.

For more info, kindly log on to :www.panap.net

Frida Kahlo

Frida Kahlo

This is John Paul Gaultier's version of Frida

Frida Kahlo is a Mexican painter, born on July 6, 1907 and passed away on July 13, 1954.

Her life had always been scarred by physical suffering and emotional suffering. She was contracted with polio when she was five. In 1925, a bus accident caused severe injuries to her when a pole pierced her from the stomach to the pelvis. Consequently, she had to go through 32 surgical operations throughout her life and had her body confined by corsets of different kinds and mechanical "stretching" systems.


Lots of her paintings were done laying in bed. Her condition deprived her of having children but she insisted to give it a try. She managed to conceive but eventually went through miscarriage.


In the movie called Frida, I watched Frida (Salma Hayak)making a painting of the fetus kept in a bottle while lying in the hospital bed with so much sorrow. I remember I wept madly watching that particular scene.

Fashion inspired by Frida designed by John Paul Gaultier

Through out the decades, Frida 's life has continued to inspire and move many people in every possible way. Her intensed, passionate yet heart-breaking relationship with Diego Rivera, a painter had made a great impact in her as a painter and as a person. Diego, an womannising husband who even slept with Frida's sister had indirectly led to her affairs with both man and women in order to escape from such excruciating despair. Of course,in the end she forgave Diego and her own sister, after all, that is what love is all about, being forgiving. She is also famed for her active involvements in the Mexican Revolution. Many of her disturbing paintings project a sense of misery. She is the very artist who coloured suffering with a life of its own.

Vivienne Westwood Exhibition

I have always been so fascinated by fashion since I was a young girl. I remember I used to sit alone in the living room watching Fashion File or Video Fashion on T.V. Then, I would learn to pronounce and write the name of my favourite fashion designer's name, Vivienne Westwood correctly while everyone else was still pretty much clueless about who Vivienne Westwood is.

I watched many fashion shows on T.V but it was always her fashion shows that blew my mind away. Who can ever forget Naomi Campbell in a pair of 10-inch blue platform shoes catwalking at Vivienne Westwood's fashion show in 1993, then without everyone's expectation, she fell to her feet. At that moment, the fashion world watched her struggling to get on her feet again.

That incident didn't ruin neither the career of Naomi Campbell or Vivienne Westwood. In fact, it became the most remembered fashion show and the most glam catwalk accident ever documented. That is Vivienne Westwood for you, her fashion has always been so theatrical, dramatic and madly rebelous to the extent of being a bit too much to be stomached even by the most seasoned fashion critics.

Recently, an acquantance who used to work as a art director for a French publishing company which publishes magazines such as Elle France, told me that Vivienne Westwood's exhibition has been creating a life of its own at Thailand Creative and Design Center since 22 July and the exhibition will last until 27 Sept. 2006. The next thing I did was to make my way to the 6th floor of The Emporium shopping mall in Bangkok, where the exhibition has been taking place. After all, how often do we get to see her creations as close as the air we breathe?

I blithely walked into the heart of darkness where I heard Sex Pistols' song blasting out of the speaker near to the entrance. Her creations are displayed in chronological order with the very first collection of punk fashion created in 1971, which were sold at a shop called Let It Rock at 430 King's Road in London.

The mannequin on display is donned with Venus T-shirt and leather skirt elaborated with mockcroc, chains, zips, metal studs, rubber and even horse hair. There is a polished black board illuminated by dim spot light. On the black board is a description goes like this: Vivienne Westwood met Malcolm Mcleren in 1965, and their son Joseph Ferdinand Corre was born the following year. Their working relationship, which lasted from 1970 until 1983, launched Punk. Vivienne recalled, 'I felt there were so many doors to open, and he had the keys to all of them. Plus, he had a political attitude and I needed to align myself.'

As I moved forward a few steps to the right, what appeared before my eyes was a mannequin clad in a a T-shirt screen printed with a torn Jack Union flag on it. This infamous T-shirt was designed by Malcom Mclaren and Jamie Reid. It was worn by Sex Pistols' Johnny Rotton for the Sex Pistols' single called Anarchy in the U.K in 1976.

Of course, Vivienne Westwood is not just the inventor of Punk fashion, she is simply a natural born fashion revolutionary. Who else has the gut to convert Victorian crinolines into sexy yet childish mini-skirts and corsets into stylish outerwear if not Vivienne Westwood?
Inside the exhibition hall, there is a big screen constantly showing Vivienne Westwood's fashion shows, where models playfully catwalking down the fashion runway with attitude of celebration. Many of the clothes shown at the fashion shows are on display at the exhibition.

No doubt, I am a Vivienne Westwood's fan. Having said that, I still find it to be a bit outrageous just to visualize myself wearing the Lycra tights with fig leaf attached to the private area just like Adam and Eve. The trousers is called 'Man with No Trousers'. In fact, when she first did the fig leaf in 1989, she just kept screaming cos it was so porno and hilarously mad. Then, she got used to it and thought it looked so elegant.

As I scrutinized the Harris Tweed Jacket and the fig leaf tights worn by a headless mannequin, I just couldn't help myself but to laugh out loud. Vivienne Westwood has always stayed true to English tailoring especially traditional techniques as a starting point. At the exhibition, you can see some of the suits are so perfectly moulded to the bodies of the mannequins like second skin.

Of course, not to be missed are the 10-inch platform shoes on diaplay in the glass cases. For me, it was just so incredible to be there to marvel at the blue platform shoes that created fashion history of its own. I was there jotting down the details of some creations which I really adore until my pen went dried of ink that I had to borrow a pen from the security guard who was so smartly dressed in black suit. Of course, I was so fashionably dressed in a military dress that looks quite Vivienne Westwood. After all, I am a fashion writer or wannabe?!!

After spending more than an hour inside the exhibition hall, I decided to leave or else, I would start to plot a robbery. Yes, it did cross my mind. So, outside the exhibition hall, I was given a booklet of the exhibition. In the first page of the booklet are some inspiring words goes like this: 'Some people adapt themselves to the world, while others adapt the world to themselves. The world goes round because of the latter group'. After reading it, I smiled to myself cos I know I belong to the later group. Then, I signed the guest book with coloured pencils provided there. Thanks to Thailand Creative and Design Center for putting together such a great exhibition.

Chilling out

It was 1 August 2006, I went out at 11 o'clock to have early dinner, I had Somtam (papaya salad), roasted chicken and sticky rice. I always love Isaan food. Then, I went back to the guesthouse. Again, I sat on the bamboo reclining chair relaxing and pondering. I actually felt really glad that I took the courage to venture out to the unknown and uncertainty again. After all, a thousand miles starts with the first step.

Actually, this trip to Kanchanaburi was unexpected. Friday night, a day before I left for Kanchanaburi, I called up my editors to ask for my paycheque, so no paycheque. According to one of the editors, I have to wait for another week. Well, I have been waiting for it for the past 6 months, I guess I won't die just by waiting for another week but I did cry after the phone call cos I was partly angry, upset and disappointed. As usual, I cried out to God.....

So, I decided to hop on the train the following day to Kanchanaburi cos I couldn't afford to stay in Bangkok for another week unless I receive my paycheque. God is a faithful God, His love is unfailing and overflowing. My new found fellow christian friend, the very loving Yang from True Jesus Church, invited me to stay in her studio apartment when I get back to Bangkok cos she is based in Chiang Mai most of the time. Here, I would like to recite a biblical verse again: God's grace is sufficient, His power is made perfect in weaknesses.

I can tell you now that I am so glad to be here in Kanchanaburi, or else I wouldn't have met another bunch of loving peoples like Watcharee and Gabriel (see, he is even named after the archangel, not to mention Jimmy and Jenette, the Danish couple and Job (another biblical name), a passionately young Thai tattoo artist with tattoos all over his body, who owns a tattoo studio in Kaosan Road, Bangkok. That night, while we were sitting around chatting, he just grabbed my leg and drew a very beautiful tattoo motif under my ankle.

You see, I have been staying in this really cool guesthouse with spacious lawn and plenty of trees. The guesthouse looks very raw and organic cos everything is made with natural materials such as bamboo, wood and tree branches. Thank goodness that this guesthouse is not mentioned in the Lonely Planet guide book, or else, it will surely attract a bunch of drunk and loud travellers. Guess what, there is even a moat filled with white lotuses and pink water lilies. I did not find this place, this place found me just like christianity.

In year 2003, I made my first trip to Kanchanaburi, on the train a female tout showed us, the travellers the photos of this guesthouse. So, that was it. Here I am for the third time. I tell you, God is worthy of our love and time cos He will love us back more than we can ever imagine.

'No eye has seen, no ear has heard, what God has prepared for those who love him, no mind has conceived...'

Kanchanaburi

Hi everyone, so sorry for the long silence. I am in Kanchanaburi now. I arrived here on Saturday by train. Kanchanaburi is just 4 hours train ride away from Bangkok. Kanchanaburi is one of my fave destinations in Thailand. This is my third trip to Kanchanaburi. I am staying in one of the rooms in a raft house on the river Kwai. You know River Kwai?O.K, how about the Bridge of the River Kwai, the movie. Yes, that's where I am now.

The thing I like to do here is to sit on the bamboo reclining chair and watch the jade green river. Whenever a speed boat loaded with tourists speeds past, the raft house will start rocking. I think peoples who tend to suffer from sea sickness will no be able to handle this. Sometimes I will sit on the platform and dip my feet into the river. I am supposed to go back to Bangkok but I just feel so reluctant to do that. I can actually live here forever.

For the past few nights, I just sat around with other travellers chatting the nights away while munching on local fruits. Yeah, I met some really cool peoples here. Few days ago, while I was lying inside my room with the door open, Watcharee,a Thai lady came to look for Gabriel, the Portugese guy who stay in the raft house too. He was still sleeping, so she chatted with me. We felt the good vibe instantly and she invited me to go to her auntie's house in the afternoon. So, I did. Three of us on the motorbike, heading towards the countryside. It was so much fun. She showed us the Lanna traditional houses hidden away from the main road. So, we went around visiting a massive temple. The monk gave us fish food to feed the Koi fish and gigantic cat fish in the pond.

At night, we were in this beautiful house of her auntie in an orchard right by the river. She even cooked dinner for us. We stayed there til 12 midnite. Then, she sent us back to the guesthouse and I invited her to sleep in my room cos it was too late for her to go home. So, yesterday, three of us on the motorbike again, heading to Erawan National Park which is like 70km away. On the way, we stopped by at the fruit vendor. I bought three dragon fruits for ourselves. You see, I always believe in the spirit of sharing. O.k, I have to go. Will blog again soon. These days, I am just too lazy to write. I have been lazing around soaking in the goodness of mother nature and got too carried away.

Lost and found in Bangkok.

It was 26 July 2006, I woke up very early in the morning by the sound of the traffic. You see, I stayed in a room which is just next to the main road. So, around 9am, I went downstairs to pay for my room and request to move to another room but the receptionist told me that there was no single room available that day. I could move to another room maybe the following day.

On my way to Banglumphu pier,I saw this street vendor selling roasted semi-riped bananas. This is my all time fave peasant snack. It was like manna from heaven, so I bought a few pieces. I munched on the banana while walking my way to Banglumphu pier. I got off at Tha Tien Pier and started strolling around. The old shophouses with folding doors looked very charming. There were all sorts local produces on display such as the dried salted fish, herbal medicines and so on. Of course, the pavement was lined with street vendor selling snacks and breakfast. I stopped by at the street vendor to have prawn porridge.

After that,I did the walking again. I walked past Wat Pho and went in to have a quick look. Then, continued exploring the neighbourhood and found myself at the Amulet market. Amulet sellers were sitting on the pavement selling all sort of forms of amulets. You see, Thais believe that wearing an amulet can ward off the evil spirits. Some Thais even wear 3 to 4 amulets at one go. I used to be an amulet wearer too cos my father is Thai and he wanted us to wear it.

O.K, back to the story, so I found myself at Tha Chang Pier. It was very crowded and happening. Tourists come to Tha Chang Pier to take the river taxi to the other side of the river bank to visit Wat Arun. The territory of the amulet sellers did not end just there. As I continued walking, I saw the pavement outside the shophouses was once again dotted with amulet sellers. I stopped by at one vendor to buy a print of the King and his family. Yeah I love the King as much as the Thai do. The King is a man with great love. The King has been hospitalized. So, please pray for him.

Considering the amount of amulets available in the market, I guess Bangkok should be free from all forms of evil spirits. The Amulet market continued its territory outside Wat Mahatat, I guess I had enough of seeing amulets in a day. So, I caught a bus back to Banglumphu.

After lunch, I called Pastor Wu Chen Wen of True Jesus Church. I told him that the visiting Pastor Siau from Taiwan wanted me to see him. He told me that he has been based in Chiang Mai but would be coming to Bangkok the following day. I asked him whether there would be a worship service that night cos I wanted to go.

So, I went back to my room to take a nap to reenergize myself. In the late afternoon, I went to Santichaiprakarn park to join other jugglers to practise poi and juggle balls too. The thai couple who can juggle clubs very well were there too together with their lovely little daughter. The husband is a graphic designer and the wife is a homemaker. They normally go to the park almost every late afternoon. Tosh, the Japanese guy was really surprised when he saw me practising. He said that I must be an expert. Well, after all, I used to perform 2 shows at Zouk, Kuala Lumpur but I won't call myself an expert though. See, how humble I am.

I was so caught up in the games that I overstayed longer than I should. So, I rushed back to take a shower and get myself ready to go to the church. I asked the receptionist to write the address in Thai for me. Then, she told me to take bus 68 outside Wat Bowen. So, I walked to Wat Bowen but wasn't sure which bus stop to take the bus. So, I asked a lady who was walking in front of me to help me out. She turned out to be able to speak English. Without hesitation, she held my hand and walked with me to the bus stop.

So, I got on to a mini bus 68 and showed the bus conductor the address. Then, she said something in Thai. Then, the lady who sat behind me explained to me in English. She told me that I had to get off at the bus stop at Democracy Monument and caught the big bus 68. So, I got on to bus 68 heading towards Bangkhuntien. The exhaust fume was almost unbearable. Someone should invent a disposeble oxygen tank. You see, many buses in Bangkok are non air-con and burping out hazardous exhaust fume. Only God knows why these buses are still allowed to hit the roads. According to a survey, many Bangkokians are suffering from air pollution related sickeneses.

I remember few years ago, the authority released a statistic saying that the air pollution in Bangkok was under control. I guess these people must have never taken a bus in ther lives. After all, who really cares about the marginalized common peoples? Do you care? Let's not talk about Bangkok, just look around the city you live in, how many vehicles with single occupant are moving on the roads?

O.K, let's get back to the story, along the journey, I saw many 'red light' clubs with skimpily clad young women hanging outside. Of course, in Malaysia, we have such establishments too, the only difference is that we do it 'underground', that's the main problem.

Finally, the never ending bus journey had come to an end when the bus conductor asked me to get off the bus and cross the overhead bridge to the other side of the road. I saw a private hospital and a bus stop. I was like in the middle of no where and it was dark. I approached this guy but we couldn't communicate. So, I walked up the road heading to the hospital and saw a woman. Then again, I showed her the address. I walked with her til we saw a songthew (a pick-up truck taxi). She asked me to get on to the songthew. So, there I was, sitting next to the driver while that women was sitting behind the pick-up truck with other passengers. Once again, I showed the address to the driver. He then dropped me off in a busy street and asked me to cross the street to take another songthew. O.K, O.K. So, I did.

Finally, I saw the road sign written in Thai and English: Ekachai 36. Yeah, I found Ekachai 36, I was coming close. Ekachai 36 is a long road. So, I flagged down a taxi and showed the driver the address. He didn't know how to get there.Phew, so off walking again til I reached a bunch of motrcycle taxi drivers. They passed the address around among them but no one knew how to get there either. How could that be?

You see, I hadn't given up yet, I walked to Ekachai 36/3 to keep on seaching. O.K, it was time to give up cos it was almost 9 o'clock. The worship service would have finished by the time I found it. I walked back to the main road feeling disappointed. I saw a lady and told her I wanted to take bus 68. Thank God she could speak English. She flagged down a songthew and told the driver something. Yes, I managed to make it back to Banglumphu. I didn't find the church that night but I met many angels along that journey.

P/S; After two days, I managed to find the church in the afternoon and meet up with Pastor Wu and other fellow christians.

Lord, this soul I won for You.

Lord,we have come to the knowledge of Your love
By Your sacrifice for the souls unworthy as ours
We reflect upon the times we greived You
With our callous disregard
Yet it is Your desire
That we should not remain apart
No greater love exists
Than that which You gave Your life for ours

Lord, we want to grow
in the likeness of Your image
Grant us
Humility, as You did Moses
Courage, as You did Joshua
Wisdom, as You did David
Love, as You did Peter
Strength, as You did Paul

Even as we face oppositions
Both from without and within
For there is poverty, social mores
and political issues we can not control
There are absent of Your Truth
Give us the courage we need to testify for You
The wisdom to know what to speak
And the eloquence to speak it
Lord, we are ready to take up Your commission
To fulfill Your desire to save all

We did wonder
if all the hardships and loneliness
In exchange for that one soul is worth it?
But as we turn to look at Jesus on the cross
We realize we have so much more to do
We'll make disciples of these people for You
Different though they seem
For You Yourself showed no partiality
Because they are Your children too

Lord, we will love as You first loved us
For if we have faith but have no love, we are nothing

Love without Truth is blind
And love without the Holy Spirit's guidance and power is short-lived
By Your grace
We have the Truth
We have the Holy Spirit

Until that day
when we meet the Lord
We shall faithfully spread
The message of His love
And when it is our time
To face the Lord
We will be able to say
Lord, this one soul I won for You

This is from an annual report called Into all the World by True Jesus Church

Bangkok, the city of angels?!!

I am in Bangkok now. I arrived this morning at 11.35. Glad to be back. Then, I hopped on bus 53 to Banglumphu and checked in to a guesthouse....

Heading north...

Yesterday morning, my mum sent me to the train station in Alor Setar. The train would only arrive at 8.35 am. So, we went to have breakfast at the canteen of the train station. The train arrived on time and then I bid farewell to my mum. After years of living a nomadic life, I just have to learn to let go. Sometimes, it is really hard but I just have to do it. I received a SMS from my brother a minute before the train arrived.

Kakak, wa now standby packing to go to Time Square liao! U take care n hope you find a plant which u know its needs….Sender: Siang Sent: 23-July-2006 8:27:50.

Well, I would rather be a plant this time around and have an owner who knows my needs. Anyway, I already have an owner and his name is Jesus. I hopped on to the train and walked inside the train from one berth to the other. I was supposed to be in berth U1 but I ended up being on the other end of the train. You see, there were twice that while I was still looking for the right berth, the trains started moving. As a result, I had to hop on to the trains while the trains were moving and I nearly fell off the trains. These were the crazy things I did in my life. This time I just wanted to play safe. I guess I am catching up with my age. I can no longer do the Hopping-on-a-moving-train stunt anymore. Probably I still can do it without a heavy backpack on my back.

As the train was moving ahead, my heart started to sing in joy. It was really great to be able to hear the rattling sound of the train again. When the train moving past a pond covered with pink water lilies, every passenger started shouting in delight Of course, I was totally hypnotized. This is the little bliss you get when you are on a run-away train. I always believe that the nature has the power of healing and God is its creator. O Lord, have I told you lately that I love you?

Many passengers got off in Arau. Soon, the train halted in Padang Besar, the border cum immigration check points. Thank goodness that they let me enter ThaiLAND cos my passport will be expired in January 2007. On top of that, I actually overstayed for 2 days last time and was fined 400Baht.

Back on the train and to resume the journey to Hatyai. I would catch another train to Bangkok once I arrive in Hatyai...to be continued.

Internet repression

Today I received this info from Amnesty International Malaysia, here I would like to urge everyone to sign the pledge. We can make a difference, all we have to do is to believe and then take action.You better do something if you want to continue enjoying the freedom of speech in the cyber world (better than nothing,isn't it?)Below is the info...


Amnesty International is today going global with a campaign on internet repression. The campaign aims to claim back the web as a force for change in the face of an increasing willingness on the part of technology companies to aid censorship and repression. The internet's potential for change is being undermined -- by governments unwilling to tolerate this free media outlet, and by companies willing to help them repress free speech.



We are calling on internet users across the world to sign a pledge calling on all governments and companies to respect internet freedom. The online pledges will be collected and presented to a key UN meeting on the future of the internet in November 2006. Go to http://www.aimalaysia.org to sign the pledge



To coincide with the launch of the international campaign, Amnesty International is releasing a report about the role of Yahoo!, Microsoft and Google in internet repression in China. For those who are interested in obtaining the full report, please contact our office at 03-79552680 or aimalaysia@aimalaysia.org



For more on the report and campaign please go to http://www.aimalaysia.org

Massive doses of pain

Every war and revolution kills and maims emotions and sensibilities. Someone has to resuscitate these people killed by massive doses of pain.....Anais Nin

Now that we have reached a hastier and more superficial rhythm, now that we believe we are in touch with a greater amount of people, more people, more countries. This is the illusion which might cheat us of being in touch deeply with the one breathing next to us. The dangerous time when mechanical voices, radios, telephones (not to mention internet) take place of human intimacies,and the concept of being in touch with millions brings a greater and greater poverty in intimacy and human vision....Anais Nin

Mirror, mirror on the wall

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the weirdest of them all?

Relationship

Relationship is like a potted plant. You water it and nurture it everyday. Then, one day you wake up only to find that the plant is dead and you don’t even know why.

Last night I told my brother about relationship is like a potted plant blah...blah...blah, to my surprise, he gave me some really brilliant and funny feedback.

My brother: First of all, how much do you know about the plant? Maybe the plant needs more sunlight than water. The plant just dies when you don’t give enough `heat” to the plant. (We both laughed out loud.)

Me: O.K, let’s twist the plot a bit. How about the plant is ruined by a rat instead of natural death...What role does a rat play in the relationship?

My brother: Maybe the rat is the third party or something else. So, who is the rat? Are you the rat or the owner of the plant?

Me: Hahaha. (I felt like being interrogated.) Let’s twist the plot again. What about the owner wakes up in the morning only to find that the plant is gone? I mean it is stolen by someone.

My brother: How can that happen?

Me: You see, the potted plant is so beautiful that the owner just want to show it to her friends. So, one of her friends loves the plant so much that she decided to steal it. The owner shouldn’t have showed it to her friends. No, I shouldn’t describe relationship as a plant. It should be able to make a decision.

My brother: How about a pet?

Me: Yeah, a pussy cat. A cat with a pussy! Hahaha

My brother: Look, Let’s put it this way. Next time don’t put your heart and soul into caring for a plant. Imagine you only water the plant once in a while; will you be so hurt when the plant dies?

Me: (Silence…then laughed out loud.)

My brother: Take it easy, why let yourself get hurt!

Me: Maybe next time the owner should get a bongsai, so that no one will be able to steal it cos it is too heavy!Hahaha.

We are sorry

Stop the war

Silver screen: I am a Sex Addict

Uncensored....

and censored...to censor or not to censor, that's the question.

October last year, there was this World Film Festival of Bangkok that took place in Bangkok of course. So, during those 2 weeks, I was running from one Cineplex to the other trying to catch my breath and a film. I was running from Metropolise(Is it called Metropolise?)shopping centre to Siam Centre to World Trade Centre and back to Metropolise. Yes, running, the films were screened back to back in 3 different Cineplexes in 3 different locations. Surely I enjoy the running in a city where I can run faster than a Mercedes Benz cos these road machines have been retarded by the snail moving traffic jam.

So, there I was, waiting for the screening of a film called I am a Sex Addict. I was sitting outside the Cineplex scrutinizing the crowd. Obviously, there weren’t enough people to call it a crowd. Why? Probably anyone who dared to walk through that very door to the Cineplex to watch this film would be suspected or mistaken as a sex addict. The guy at the ticketing desk looked at me sheepishly as if there were words written all over my forehead saying that I am a sex addict. Sure, he had every reason to be suspicious. After all, I did suspect other viewers as sex addicts too.

Inside the cinema, I turned around 360 degree and saw not more than 10 people. I noticed there were only two females, me and another woman who came with her partner. The rest were these middle aged men, looking very much like sex addicts. I started to ask myself what the hell I was doing. By the time I had myself seated comfortably, these men came over to sit either in front of my seat or just two or three seats away from me. I looked around, the cinema was almost empty. Why on earth they wanted to come to sit so close to me. So, I was thinking whether to move or not to move. I felt trapped yet I refused to move. Why should I? Probably they thought all sex addicts should stick together. Hehehe………to be continued.

World Cup 2006

Today, I woke up at 20 minutes to 1pm cos I stayed awake to watch the World Cup final match last night. The game started off with both Italian and French players being fast and furious, not to mention being pretty dramatic too. We saw Henry being `tactical’ in the beginning of the match when he was hit on the head by an Italian player. Bizarre penalty score by Zidane 7 minutes after the match started. 12 minutes into the game, two players had already been yellow carded. What’s next, a powerful `header' goal by Italian player, Materazzi. Did you manage to admire his tattoos on his arms? Thunderous cheers from the crowd as usual. 40 minutes into the game, the camera shifted our attention to the human waves performed by the cheering crowd. Then, back to the match, penalty kick for Italian before the first half of the game ended but they did not make it.

Then the game continued. We saw both teams trying hard, very consistent. French team made numerous attempts to score, Italians players were very defensive…blah…blah....blah…. The game became very intense; I tried not to blink just in case I would miss out anything. Gosh, something unbelievable happened. How on earth this happened? Zidane, the Mr. Perfect attacked Meterazzi and then was red carded. Before we could catch another breath and figure out what actually happened, he was ordered to leave the field. How theatrical was that. Yes, we saw Zidane being unable to control his emotion that he flipped at that very moment. After all, he is just a human being, not the Mr. Perfect because being perfect is boring. Err...I mean nobody is perfect. I really wanted to know what was on his mind during that very moment.

After that incident, I could no longer concentrate on watching the game. I was distracted by the fact that Zidane would be blamed for the outcome of the game. I started to worry about him but he was nowhere in sight. As the game went on, Henry,the French player was replaced. Extra 30 minutes but still no goal. So the game ended with penalty shoot-out with Italy emerged as the winner 5-3. Phew,what a game. It really was worthy of my sleepless night. I hope the media and the people won’t be too harsh on Zidane.

The suicidal author

(Photo: Allen G. Arpadi)

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.".....Hunter S. Thompson (July 18, 1937 – February 20, 2005), an American journalist, anarchist and author of the book called Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. He is the father of gonzo journalism, a method of reporting that blurs the differences between author and subject, nonfiction and fiction,which is the opposite of the objectivist style practiced by mainstream media of his time. He always wrote in the first person. He died from a self-imposed gunshot wound to the head. He was 67 years old.

The witching owl

Last night after midnight, while I was brushing my teeth, I saw a very huge owl standing on the roof. It took a good look at me before it flapped its wings and flew away. For me, this is something cryptic. Come on, how often you actually see an owl especially in a surroundings where there are street lights and motorcycles zooming around noisily every now and then. O.K, there are actually a few mango trees and other types of trees around.

So, I went berserk after that, searching high and low for a book called The Secret Language of Symbols. Instead of finding that book, I found something else. I found these lost-and-found film negatives which I had been looking for so long and could not find it. I also found this Chinese book which I would like to reread. Life is so bizarre sometimes, when you are looking hard for something, you won’t find it but when you don’t look for it anymore, then you find it.

Then, I carried on my searching session. I pulled out a box and in it I saw this beautiful invitation card to True Jesus Church (Seven Evenings of Good News), what stated on the card is this: “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, what God has prepared for those who love him, no mind has conceived…..”. I didn’t go to that gathering which took place in 2004 but I kept the invitation card. Then, what came into sight was this packet of 15 or more booklets about The Passion of The Christ written in Thai. I bought it when I was in Chaing Mai in 2004. Only God knows why I bought it. I guess by now I know what I have to do with these booklets.

After ransacking the whole place, I still couldn’t find the book, so I went to sleep. Of course, this morning the first thing I did was to look for the book and I found it. So, Index…looking for the word owl and then went on to page 136…Human and Spiritual Symbols---Witches, Priests and Wizards. I took a deep breath and started finding the word owl. So, here you go: “With the advent of Christianity, witches were seen as the Devil’s instruments, and the Biblical invocation to "not permit a sorceress to live” was taken literally as late as 1692, when nineteen convicted witches were hung in the Massachusetts Bay Colony of Salem. Witches were often characterized as seductresses or cannibals, or depicted as owls, cats and toads in the belief that they could physically transform themselves into these creatures of the night.”

Actually, I remember in the Bible, the chapter of Deuteronomy says: You shall not practice augury or witchcraft. You shall not make any gashes in your flesh for the dead or tattoo any marks upon you: I am your Lord. Do not turn to mediums or wizards; do not seek them out, to be defiled by them: I am the Lord your God.

Then, I started referring to the Bible, trying to find a chapter saying that the witches should be put to death. I didn’t find anything about this. This means that killing the witches is not scriptural, it is solely human interest. Do you know any chapter in the Bible saying that the witches should be put to death? If you do, please reply in the comment section.

Remember that so many years ago, the case about Mona Fendi and a guy who murdered the V.I.P. The case traumatized Malaysians not so much about the killing but about how Mona Fendi practicing witchcraft to kill. You see, that time everyone wanted Mona Fendi to die because we were so stricken with fear. She was executed in the end. You see, both authorities and societies always want to get rid of people who are seen as evil by wiping them out. We always see ourselves as more godly than the other or in another case, other people are more evil than us.

The 911 incident took place because the terrorists see the Americans as evil. On the other hand, American government sees Saddam Hussien and Iraqis as evil too. Sometimes we are so obsessed with drawing a clear line between good and evil that we become so merciless and loveless.

Starlight Cinema Short Film Festival

Starlight cinema short film festival will be taking place on 13 August 2006 in conjuction with the Starlight cinema screenings, as an extension of its outdoor film event programme. All Malaysian Filmmakers, professionals and filmmaker wanna-bes are welcomed to join the competition. This is your chance to make your dream into reality. That night, the films of 5 finalists will be screened and judged, not to mention that the winner will be rewarded with a RM3000 prize. The admission to the film festival is free. For more information please log on to www.starlightcinema.com.my/shorts

What's the story, morning glory?

Only 6 months left in year 2006, unbelievable,how time managed to perish as quick as that. Well, What did I actually do for the past 6 months? This is my story.Hmmm.....After I left Cameron Highlands somewhere in mid July last year, I went to Bangkok. I was in Bangkok for 5 months, writing freelance for a few publications. Oh yeah, I had since got rid of my dreadlock. I loved and hated Bangkok. The language barrier is a real problem. Well, the world of journalism is just another dog-eat-dog world. You have to be a player in order to get assignments which I don't really know how. After all, I am still a hippie at heart.

So, I came back to Malaysia during Chinese New Year, a dear friend died in Cameron Highlands, I got really upset. Then, another friend there went through domestic violence at home and then moved to live in Johor. I went to Johor to take care of her kids for almost a month while she started her new life there. I went for my baptism on 8 March at Calvary charismatic church. I had signed a contract with God. So, basically I have been trying to live a holy life. So far so good, still the holy Kriss. Haven't put myself in a situation where I have to face full force temptation. Wait until someone put a bunch of `holy weed', a few bottle of red wine on my table and then ask a super gorgeous sexy man to seduce me and see how. hehehe.

Then, off to K.L to help Mercy Malaysia to write part of its annual report. Then, I joined the 3 days 2 night basic mission training programme organized by Mercy. In the training, I learnt CPU, how to use a compass, how to use a walkie-talkie, how to set up a shelter box (a 6-person tent), how to evacuate when an attack takes place, just so crazy.

Then, in May, a friend that I love dearly went for his brain operation to get rid of the brain tumour and has since been participating in full recovery. Then, my mother went for cataract eye laser treatment. The following day, my father was diagnosed with mild stroke. He was hospitalized for a week. I stayed at the hospital every night to keep an eye on him. That was not it. Since then, I had to stay at home to keep an eye on my old folks and cook for them for almost 2 months. How about that? I was very much afflicted. Only one thing that has been keeping me going--God's strength. Without His love and strength, I wouldn't be able to pass the test with flying colors. I only have enough money to last for another 3 weeks and still can laugh about life. Hopefully, I will receive my delayed paycheque soon. May your unfailing love come to me, O Lord, your salvation according to your promise. So, what's next???

Pen, sword and gun

"...the pen is mightier than the sword, but absolutely no match for the gun."...Goenawan Mohamad, an Indonesian writer.

Easter

Location: Kuala Lumpur.
The day before Easter this year, I sent a sms to Hew to tell him that I wanted to go to Calvary Church for its Easter worship service. He replied by telling me that there would be no Easter worship service at the church cos they would hold a Sunrise Easter worship service at Bukit Jalil Stadium at 6 am. I knew I wouldn’t be able to make it because of the time and location.

So, I had to move on to plan B. I sent a sms to Isaac. Problem solved. I would go to Community of Praise for its Easter worship service at 10am. Yeah, I am a church hopper. Hehehe. You see, I used to attend two different churches when I was in Johor in March this year. On Sunday mornings, I would go to Calvary Charismatic Church for its Sunday Worship Service, in the evenings, I would go to Holy Light Church. Oh yeah, I was baptized on 8 March this year by Pastor Rajan and Pastor Beoy from Calvary Charismatic Church in Johor.

Ok, let’s get back to the story, so my brother was really sweet cos he sent me to Ampang Point to meet up with Isaac. Blessed is the one who finds joy in helping others. Isaac came to Ampang Point to meet up with me cos I had forgotten the way to the church. There, I met Sanju. Ian, an Australian, came to greet me cos he remembered seeing me there before. Sanju is from Nepal and Isaac is from Ghana. This was the third time I met up with them. We first met in Cameron Highlands in June 2005.

The Easter worship service was started with songs of Worships. Surprisingly, there was a dance performance by the youths, singing by the children and a sketch by the youths. Isaac took part in the sketch. The air was filled with laughter and joy. Everyone dressed up prettily to celebrate Easter. In deed, on Easter, Christ is risen.

The sermon was delivered by an African man dressed in African traditional costume, really cool. (So sorry, I didn’t get his name.). I remember I laughed a lot cos he was so humorous. You see, Community of Praise is this little church started by the expat community around Ampang. I had never seen so many Africans in a church before. During the sermon, he said: “We murmur because we didn’t claim what Christ is able to do.”

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)

As Jesus went on from there, two blind men followed him, calling out “Have mercy on us, Son of David!”
When he had gone indoors, the blind men came to him, and he asked them, “Do you believe that I am able to do this?”
"Yes, Lord,” they replied.
Then he touched their eyes and said, “According to your faith will it be done to you, and their sight was restored. (Matthew 9:27-29)

That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day. (2 Timothy 1:2)

Everyone stayed back after the service to have Easter buffet lunch sponsored by a few of the church members. I remember at one point this Caucasian lady gave me a big hug. I chatted with Sanju and Isaac before I made a move. Thanks to Community of Praise for accommodating me, the sudden visitor.

It has been two months since I last attended Sunday worship service. Whenever I attended a sunday worship service and listened to the sermon, I felt my spirit was lifted up as high as the Petronas Twin Tower. This is the power of God's word. It can calm the sea, raise the dead, heal the sick and repair a broken heart. I really miss going to church. Despite of saying that, christianity is a lifestyle, attending Sunday worship service is just part of it. What is church, church is not the building. Church is the body of Christ. Our bodies are the temple of God. His spirit dwells in us. So, listen to Hism word and have it deeply rooted in our hearts.

The high-school-girl smile.

So, who is the tyrannical infant? I wish I still could smile the high-school-girl smile. HeHeHe.

Reply to the comment: Yes, you're right. You see,I am so gorgeous that you(nevermind that you are a man or a woman)can sell your soul for me now. Haha.

The old man

Today, I want to tell you a true story. This is a story about an old man, who lived on the 4th floor of a flat. One day, he had a heated argument with his neighbors next door. During the argument, he ran amok and took a meat chopper, slashing his neighbors. A brave neighbor from the 5th floor came down, trying to stop the slashing session. As a result, that brave neighbor was injured too but he managed to stop the blood shed argument.

After all this chaos, the police came. The injured neighbors were admitted to hospital. Of course, the old man was held by the police. Eventually, the neighbors didn’t press charges against the old man. So, he was released as a freeman. Free to go back to his home on the 4th floor of the flat. The neighbors next door had since moved out.

Since then, he was completely shut off by all the people. No one talked to him, no one dared to go near him. His children didn’t come to see him. The only people who talked to him were the little children. Sometimes, he would give them sweets. Whenever he walked around the walkway, people would lock the grilles and shut themselves behind the doors. Children were scolded and told not to talk to him.

After a year, the old man committed suicide by drinking pesticide. He died alone at his lonely home on the 4th floor of that flat. People only found out that he died when his dead body started to generate stinky odor. Why did he kill himself? He killed himself because no one wanted to forgive him and no one wanted to give him a second chance to be good again. The world certainly has its way of killing a human being without being held accountable.

The French hill tribe.

Xavier Jarry is a French man from Nice. In year 2004, I met him in Chiang Mai, Thailand, and then I bumped into him again in Bangkok. He certainly has no air of arrogance like what many people think about the French.(Am I being sarcastic?)He was at Phanga when Tsunami hit that year but he survived. He didn't leave Phanga immediately, he stayed back to help and donate his blood. Cheers, man!

Haunted dreams

Wrinkled heart trapped in a shapeless universe,
Wrinkled heart with haunted dreams,
Waiting in vain to be redeemed.
Dancing like a possessed spirit
Up to the mountain,
Down to the ravine.
Impossible dreams have long been conceived in mind,
Waiting for the right time to be materialized.

Encounter

Well, there is a wide wide world of noble causes
And lovely landscapes to discover
But all I really want to do right now
is to find another lover!.....Joni Mitchell

Mobile Clinic

On 15 May this year, I received a SMS: “Penang chapter will be conducting a mobile clinic on 21 May 2006 at Kg. Kuala Segantang Garam, Mukim Bujang, Kedah. The clinic starts at 9am and ends at 1pm. Please confirm your attendance.” The SMS was sent to me by Major Anuar, who is in control of Penang chapter of Mercy Malaysia. Coincidentally, my family would go back to Alor Setar (my hometown) from Penang that day. So, they would drop me off in Sungai Petani to meet up with Major Anuar and other volunteers.

On 21 May morning, Ling, my sister was driving at great speed heading towards Sungai Petani and then she turned around and said something like this: “Don’t worry, you will arrive on time.” This is how my family shows their love to me. They normally are very supportive in whatever I do in my life. So, I arrived in Sungai Petani on time. Actually, I was very excited about this despite the fact that I had caught a cold and had been tired.

O.K, let’s get back to the story, the night before, I had visualized ourselves (the volunteers) setting up an outdoor mobile clinic under a luxuriant tree in a village, where abashed children hiding behind their mothers’ bums. I had even visualized myself giving medicines to the children. Seriously speaking, I really believed that I was coming close to becoming like the saintly Mother Teresa.

So, I met up with Major Anuar at a restaurant. Chang, the medical graduate and Dr. Halim were also there. (I met them during the 3 days 2 nights basic mission training organized by Mercy Malaysia.) There, we were having breakfast, talking and laughing away. After a while, other volunteers namely 2 female doctors and 5 community nurses from Penang General Hospital led by sister Mahiran arrived and joined us. Go, go, girl power. In fact, sister Mahiran just came back from Pakistan.

After breakfast, we started our journey to Kampung Segantang Garam, a supposedly riverside village, where its inhabitants work as farmers and fishermen. Along the journey, Major Anuar told us inspiring yet nerve-breaking stories about his many mission trips to countries like Pakistan, Sudan, Jordan, Aceh in Indonesia. According to him, the security forces in Aceh were so corrupted and brutal that they demanded money from him when he asked them to escort him to transport the medical supplies and goods to tsunami-hit areas.

Our car was moving along a road flanked by strikingly green paddy fields in the middle of nowhere. Then, what came into sight were these brand new concrete houses. This is the community centre of the village. There were many people there who were mainly the villagers. In the compound, women were busy with food preparation while the men were busy stirring the dish cooked in a massive wok. It seemed that there would be a feast later. Actually, it was a community-bonding programme organized by the district government. There was an exhibition of local handicrafts and products as well as an exhibition by the fire brigade department. Wait a minute, this was not what I visualized the night before. Actually, I was a bit disappointed though. Hehehe.

So, we carried boxes of medical supplies from the cars to the nursery. We turned the nursery into a temporary clinic. The walls were embellished with children’s drawings and posters of alphabets. Two girls were in charge of the registration desks outside the nursery while two guys were willingly being the patients controllers. I joined sister Mahiran and three other sweet looking community nurses to be the medicine dispensers. There were also two medical officers from the district health clinic joining us, not to mention the very charming husband and wife doctors from Putra Medical Centre, Alor Setar.

Every patient was given a blood pressure test. Many elderly had old-folk-sicknesses such as hypertension. Some of the patients were suffering from skin fungal infections. So, we gave them anti-fungal cream. Those who were proved to be free from all sicknesses were given vitamin C. I looked cluelessly at the neatly arranged medicine on the table and realized that the reason I was invited to join the mobile clinic was to learn how to serve the people. I totally appreciated it.

I mostly helped to pack the pills into small packets. After all, I wasn’t experienced enough to read the doctors hand writing. Those pills are normally with 8 or more alphabets and end with `ton’ such as Pharmaton, Triniton?!! and so-and-so ton. It was indeed a learning experience of the whole new medical world.

Time past by without notice, it was time to wrap things up. We were invited to have lunch there. All of us were seated on a mat and eating authentic Malay cuisine such as pucuk nangka ikan bilis masak gulai, ikan kering goreng and sambal belacan with rice.

Before we headed off, each of us was given a goodie bag consist of a packet of fish crackers, a packet of dried shrimps, a box of shrimp paste and a packet of salted fish. Oh, so sweet. I cherished the token of appreciation and was almost moved to tears. The charming husband and wife doctors (so sorry that I forgot their names) gave Chang and I a lift back to Alor Setar. Believe it or not, by the time I went home, the cold had left me.

For more info about Mercy Malaysia, kindly check www.mercy.org.my.

Sexploit

Many years ago, I was in Bangkok, having a drink with my girlfriends at a restaurant of a budget hotel.(No, I wasn't in Patpong, the red light district)Then, I saw a huge farang in jeans and shirt heading towards the guy at the counter. Then, I saw the guy making a phone call.

That farang trudged towards us and retired himself next to our table. After a while, the guy at the counter came over with a beautiful local girl. Then, I got the picture- a pimp, a sex worker, a client and it was merely seen as a business at face value. Nowadays, destroying someone's soul has become a business.

The lady seated herself next to the farang. Silence hung in the air like a wilted hope. I turned around to look at her cos I sensed she was looking at me. I looked into her eyes searchingly and she looked into mine. Before I could say a word, the farang stood up and she tailed behind him.

I saw her back disappearing through the door of the lift, where she would be propelled into the darkness with her pride and dignity brutally stripped off and trashed until the beast inside him was wholly satisfied. At the moment, I could feel despair seep into my heart. By then, I had learnt well enough that the world had other ways of breaking a human being.

Being a Malaysian woman of Chinese-Thai parentage and a minor to be exact, I had gone through sexism and racial discrimination in my life but because of God's grace is always sufficient, for his power is always made perfect in weakness, I somehow didn't drift into self-destruction. (To befriend gays, sex-workers, transvestites and gangsters is not really called self-destruction, is it?)

I remember there were times when disappointing reactions and verbal harassments were thrown at me simply because of my ethnic background. Of course, I would stand up to confront and correct them in order to reclaim what is rightfully mine, dignity.

When I started to trace my roots in Thailand, I was deeply shocked and distressed to see the insidious impact Imperialism, or in other word means Tourism has been doing to Thailand. It is really clear that the descendents of the ex-imperialists have come back with a vengeance and the hearts to complete what their forefathers had failed to do (Thailand has never been colonialized.). This time with more brutal tactic-sexploit!

It really perturbed me a lot every time I saw an old farang with his rented` Thai wife' who was young enough to be his granddaughter. This is not just a sexploit; this is a way for them to prove their superiority! They are here to torch the self-esteem and dignity of the Thai women in order to boost theirs.

There are here to bait the Thais into believing that the only way to get out of poverty is to work as a sex worker to serve the farangs. Then, they cunningly twist the plot around and masquerade themselves as some kind of Messiahs, who are here to part the sea of poverty and lead people to a so called better life!

I know prostitution has been wrong-footed in Thailand long before the American G.Is flooded Bangkok and Pattaya on `Rest and Recreation' tours that had opened door to sex tourism in Thailand back in the Vietnam War era. You, as a visitor or expat in Thailand, do you think this is a positive contribution or being respectful towards your host country?

Is prostitution the only way to get out of poverty? I doubt it and certainly do not buy this idea. Unfortunately, there are many Thai women (ok, I know in Thailand they are called `Isan' women, not 'Thai' women. You see, they are even despised by their own people) have embraced this erroneous belief and this erroneous belief has been driving them. If one person telling you that it is better to work as a sex worker because there is nothing else you can do better than this, you will probably ignore it. Imagine when 10 people are telling you the same thing, you will surely consider it. You become what you believe, as simple as that.

Deep in my heart, I believe that there will come a day when sexploit against the women of my ancestor's land will end just like how I believe that one day the great dragon will be hurled down- that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who has been leading the whole world astray!

'In Razr Way' Party @ Bed Supper Club, BKK.

When I heard that D.J Malik Alary of Hotel Costes was going to spin his way to Bed Supperclub for MOTORAZR V3's `In Razr Way’ Party on Oct. 12 last year, I told myself that I had to be there no matter what.The sexy tunes of the compilation albums of Hotel Costes are just so seductive.




So, when I went to Toolbox Media office , Bangkok to do my writing on the computer as usual, I saw this 'In Razr Way' Party black invitation card lying on my editor's desk nakedly as if to seduce me to get hold of it. So, I did.




Since he wasn't really into partying anymore, he gave the invitation card to me. In return, I aggreed to bring along five copies of Untamed Travel magazines to give away in the party.
So, on that Wednesday night, I went to Sukhumvit, the uptown of Bangkok where the rich and famous dwell.



At the entrance, I handed my invitation card to the lady in white and spoke confidently in English accented English (not Manglish, Singlish or Thailish) as if I was a well-bred Oxford-educated Anglofile. I was handed a press card and a press kit.




So, there I was at Bed Supperclub, a glass of red wine in one hand and a camera in another hand, what else could be better than this on Wednesday night. The tiny illuminated stage was there waiting for models to strike poses for the awaiting press people, I was one of them, of course. The two big screens were occupied by Motorola’s logos, constantly spinning to the tunes. A voice said: Hello Moto”. I replied “Hello”.




By the time I finished my third glass of red wine, I was still sober enough to count my fingers correctly. The models finally started cat walking to the stage with fashion that designed to match the slick and chic MOTORAZR V3. Every model had a MOTORAZR V3 in one hand or hooked to their outfits.




The party featured the creations of 4 young designers namely Pisith Sirihamarat, Kittikorn Kongtabag, Chatree Theng-Ha and T-Ra Chantasawasdee. There was a long break after every show to give everyone enough time to grab another drink or two. The fashion shows were cool enough to look like the fashion shows straight out of Fashion T.V.




Actually, there were many celebrities, socialites and just famous people around but I could hardly figure out who-is-who cos I wasn't really into the`scene' but everyone seemed to be quite friendly.
Of course, the music was up to my expectation; after all, D.J Malik didn't come all the way to Bangkok to disappoint his fans. Bed's resident D.J, Josh spinned great tunes in between sets in the early hours before D.J Malik took over completely. The press people left after the fashion shows but I stayed back When D.J Malik started to spin Latin House, I knew it was time to ditch the camera and dance.