Randomly

I have become a couch potato and feel no shame about it. I have been watching Ugly Betty, Desperate Housewives, American Idol (Adam Lambert is super super hot), America's Next Top Model and drama series(Chinese and Korean). When I live on my own, I live a T.V less life because it is easier for me to move around. I bought a T.V when I lived in Langkawi Island but I gave it to my brother when I moved home. Actually, I still have my belongings left in K.L and Bangkok. Probably my friends had thrown away my things. I won't blame them if they do.

I worked for the past few months on project basis. It's a man's job....industrial art but at least it has something to do with art. In the end of a working day, I look like a mechanic in a workshop with paint and grease on my cloth. I have to wear a mask when I do the spay painting with a spay gun. It's a very tedious job. The professional job title is called `wood care specialist', sounds very glamorous but it is not. Normally, I work for a week and then rest for a week. It is just good for me for the time being.

Last month, I was in the final stage of editing a documentary and thought it would be ready this month to be submitted to film festivals, then, suddenly, while I was rearranging my movie files, there was some sort of technical problem and the whole documentary just went down the drain. I felt like I was stabbed by a knife. I have to redo the whole documentary again. To do or not to do, that's the question. Of course, I decided to redo it from scratch, from the beginning. Sometimes, I think it is much much easier to drink and get drunk, to smoke and get stone because it is much much easier than to really want to do something. Will the documentary ever make it to a film fest?

Life has become really tough since I have become clean from alcohol addiction and weed addiction and started to pursue my dreams or probably I have taken life a bit too seriously? I am trying to figure out what have gone wrong. Actually, I miss my alcoholic friends and weed smoking friends because they understand me the most and they love me the most.

Finally, the world is witnessing the downfall of capitalism. Yes, capitalists, you are the real crisis. I was sucked into the world of capitalism too when I was in K.L. I thought I could change the world but I let the world change me instead.

I have put on weight, thanks to my mum's cooking. I have been watching too much T.V, another addiction. Well, at least it is something legal. hehehe.


Finally, about Gaza and the Palestinians. During the war, I wrote five appeal letters to the Israeli embassies. Two Israeli embassies replied to my first letter to justify its bombings on Gaza and killings of the innocent. I refused to back down. After five appeal letters, at least one diplomat `sympathized' with my call for peace and agreed with me. I fight my own war and I won it. At that stage of my life, I felt like I had lost every thing like the Palestinians but I haven't lost the fighting spirit in me. One day, the world will see an independent Palestine because nothing can kill the great spirit of the Palestinians. When the day comes, I hope I will be there with them to celebrate the victory. Of course, my dream is to see peace in Israel and Palestine.