18-07-2007-I set the alarm clock last night so that I could wake up early and leave but things don't always happen the way you expect or predict. Last night, I suddenly felt so lonely after I came back from dinner. That kind of unspeakable loneliness which I used to be able to cope when I was on a journey. After all, travelling on your own can be quite lonely sometimes. I wonder If I left home much much earlier, would it be different by now. Maybe we shouldn't ask this kind of question: "What if?" If we knew it earlier, we wouldn't have done so many things. Would my mother marry my father if she could turn back the clock and re-live her life? Would my sister marry her husband if she was given a second chance?
All of us need a second chance. It is so painful when we have to ask ourselves this kind of question. I think the worst thing is that we can't really come up with an absolute answer, an ultimate answer or an unregretable answer. So, we prefer not to ask ourselves some life-changing and important questions cos we know we don't have the answers. There are many walls built around our hearts. The moment when a life-changing question is answered, a wall is pulled down. Along the journey in life, we will have to pull down these walls no matter how many obsticles we have to encounter and eventually we will find ourselves, our truest self and freedom.
