life is what you make out of it

Actually, we all have gone through tough time in order to commit to our truest soul and dreams. Two days ago, I went to meet a long lost friend. He wanted to open a cafe, so he spent months setting up the cafe, creating an atmosphere and environment that spell his personality. He makes a living as a tattoo artist but recently he spent a lot of time setting up a cafe. He built a fish pond, painted the walls, cemented the floor and there are still more works to be done. He has to tear off part of the walls on the second floor and convert it into a veranda. Totally D-I-Y. I used to help him to set up the tattoo studio and cafe in the previous location and we did have a lot of fun even though the cafe didn't make money but there was a bunch of like minded people who came to hang out and play music.

Once, after attending a film festival, I invited Amir Muhamad (the film director of The Big Durian) and the gang to come and hang out in the cafe. We just need to hang out with people who share the same passion in life, people who speak the `same language of passion'. We need to feed on each other's passionate energy on daily basis to keep the light of passion burning. This friend has great spirit and great faith even though money is running out sometimes. He is always such an inspiration to me. Of course, I believe he will pull it through cos he had done it many times. I have been working on a few projects too, never mind that I was called a slacker by some people cos I don't have a monthly faithful income as a freelancer. After all, they don't really pay my bills, do they?


I used to have a permanent job too. When I finished college back in 1995. I was landed a job as a Guest Service Assistant at a 5 star resort in Langkawi. I hated that job really, I was living in hell for one year before I quit. I had to wear this over-sized uniform and high heels that hurt my feet, not to mention, lip stick, eye shadow and all that shit on daily basis. Sometimes, during high occupancy, there was a never ending queue of guests waiting to check out. By the time I was free to go for my lunch break, the cafeteria already closed. I always had nightmare the night before public holidays. Of course, I had not-too-bad- income but I was so tied down and tortured by my job. One day, I looked into the mirror and I didn't recognise who I was anymore cos the job had killed my soul.


Then, I moved back to Penang and landed myself as a Public Relation Coordinator at SUPER KOMTAR. Probably you had heard my voice: "Paging for MR. So and So, kindly proceed to the Customer Service Counter immediately" We had to deal with customer complaints and a lot of petty things. We got to organise children colouring contests and other contests. I had great colleagues, so it was bearable but I still hated that over sized uniform. One day, while I was squatting behind the gift counter for hours packing canned soft drinks. I asked myself one question: Why was I working my butt out to make the rich becomes richer. So, I quit again.


Then, I went backpacking around a few places in Malaysia with my best friend, Melissa. It was Melissa who introduced me to backpacking. Melissa had done India. (Oh yeah, Mellisa just gave birth to a baby boy few days ago, her second child.) In the backpacking scene, there is a backpacker's saying: If you have survived India, that means you have graduated from the university of backpacking. I haven't done India, so I haven't graduated just yet. Ok, let's get back to the story, So after the cuti-cuti Malaysia backpacking trip. I got a job as an assistant teacher at a School for the Blind in Penang, very little salary, it was like half-charitable job. Seriously, my life changed dramatically, many good things happened to me. The job made me feel so saintly. I remember one day, Andrew (who is visually impaired) came to talk to me. He came to talk to me often when I finished my class at 4.30 pm. That day, he told me that his salvation lied in Jesus' love. I listened to his story and started weeping cos I was so touched. Now you know that I heard the gospel from a blind man who walks by faith, not by sight He is a man who has fulfilled the scripture: to walk by faith, not by sight. I worked there for 2 years, the longest job I ever had so far.


During that time, I went backpacking to Thailand, Borneo and Cambodia on my own during school holidays. When I came back from Cambodia, I was so touched and inspired by the people I met there that I wrote a article about Cambodia and the landmine victims. I was probably the first or second Malaysian who backpacked to Cambodia by land and I was very proud of myself (I am not showing off, just proud). The article was published in New Straits Times. That is how I started off as a writer.


After that, I worked as a trekking guide in Cameron Highlands. Everyday was a holiday....My life changed again. Bohemian life, crazy and started to develop bad habits. I really had a great time in Cameron Highlands. Off to Europe for 3 months, hitch-hiking, fire dancing, camping in a massive hippie festival with 20,000 people, sleeping in a stable like baby Jesus in the mountain in Austria, being cold and homeless, sleeping in a car in Zurich. Life is what you make out of it. I made mistakes, I learnt from mistakes, I cried, I smiled, I loved, I hated, I suffered, I laughed, I sinned , I repent cos I allowed myself to unfold every layer of humanity. Along the journey, I realised that God loves me. I know He will always love me til the end of the time